


The crowd

by WilliahMagala



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF
Genre: 50s au, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2020-04-05 03:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19039864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilliahMagala/pseuds/WilliahMagala
Summary: Fabrizio regretted going to this village party, but he had to watch on his sister. He changed his mind when he met a handsome stranger.It's inspired by Edith Piaf's song "La Foule"





	1. The village party

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome back to this new fic, which is going to be quite short, but I hope you will like it anyway.

Fabrizio couldn't breathe. Why did he accept to come to this village party? Oh right, his parents made him go to watch over Romina, his still minor sister, to make sure she wouldn't be flirting with the first man she saw. They really had little trust in their daughter. Besides whether he was here or not Romina could do whatever she wanted to; the crowd was so packed he lost her. The heat of the Italian sun, the heat of the crowd and the number of people around him, restricting his movements, was making him panic. He hated crowds, they made him nervous, especially with so many bodies pressed against him like today. That’s why he usually avoided going to those kinds of village parties, even in his own village. But he was the eldest son and he was in charge of protecting his sister so he would bear it.

However, he was really not feeling good. He was desperately trying to get some fresh air when suddenly he stepped backward and the man close to him turned around. Before Fabrizio could even think, the crowd threw him into the stranger's arms. Great. Just what he hated. He looked at the other man and if he still had air in his lungs it would have left for sure. The man was handsome, very handsome. He managed to mutter a sorry and tried to move away from him. Sadly, the crowd decided against it and the two men were pressed against each other again. The curly man laughed in Fabrizio's ear who shivered slightly.

Carried by the crowd who was dancing, Fabrizio and the man stayed close, their hands linked. Fabrizio wasn't panicking anymore. He had all the reasons to, he was in the middle of a suffocating crowd, his sister was nowhere to be seen and he was pressed against a stranger. But the stranger's smile was so sweet and around him, Fabrizio felt good; he couldn't stop smiling. He felt strangely good. His heart was beating slightly faster every time the crowd pushed him closer to the man, so much that there was close to no space between them. They kept dancing, carried by the crowd. Fabrizio was even forgetting the crowd around him; his mind was completely focused on the curly haired man in front of him. And sometimes their bodies would be lifted, making them fly for a second before falling back on the ground the two of them laughing. He never wanted this to stop.

He was working upon his courage to put his arms around the man's neck, after all, he didn't seem to complain right? Maybe Fabrizio had a chance. What an irony, he was here to prevent his sister from flirting with random strangers and yet here he was pressed against a man, his face in his neck. He smelled really good and his skin was soft. Fabrizio could have stayed like this for hours.

But right when he was about to put his arms around the stranger's shoulders, and if he was not mistaken the man was going to put his arms around his waist, Fabrizio screamed between the laughter. The crowd had suddenly snatched the man away from him. He fought against the people, trying to reach the curly man but the dancing crowd kept moving them away from each other as if it sent their attraction. The other man fought as well but the flow of people was stronger. Fabrizio screamed for him, but he didn't know his name and his voice drowned in the laughs of the people. He pushed them away to leave. He needed air again. Without the man it wasn't possible to breathe or to feel good in this hell. He kept cursing at this crowd who stole the man it gave him. He spent the rest of the day searching but he never found the handsome curly man again.


	2. The meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fabrizio goes back to the village and finds his handsome stranger again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is a bit longer than the first one, I hope you will like it!

When Fabrizio and Romina went back home Romina had a huge smile on her face and Fabrizio was feeling blue. He didn't find the man. He searched everywhere but he simply couldn't find him. Once they were back to their house their parents ensured that Romina was still innocent, Fabrizio had to lie and say that he stayed with her all the time, they let them go back to their room, both of them were exhausted. He didn't sleep that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about the man, especially his smile. His smile was so bright and beautiful. He could still feel the hot body against him, the soft curls against his cheek could see the bright smile, could hear the deep laugh. All the details were vivid in his mind. He didn’t even hear his voice and yet Fabrizio already felt himself falling for this stranger. It only took him less than an afternoon and no words to fall for this stranger. He couldn't forget him, he was always thinking about him, about this smile, even when he was working at his father's garage, which upset his father greatly. Sadly, he had no idea how to find him, he didn’t have a name, nor did he know where he lived.

However, a week later a letter arrived at home. For Romina. Immediately their parents got suspicious. Who was it? It was just a girl that Romina met during the village party and who invited her to come to see her the next day. Romina was over the moon, but their father refused. He thought that it was a boy Romina met and who wouldn't make a good marriage for his only daughter. It was decided that Fabrizio, as the eldest child, would go with her to see this "girl". Nobody commented on the fact that Fabrizio didn't protest as much as he usually did, because Fabrizio didn't act like he usually did. So, the next day Fabrizio and Romina took their bikes and rode to the village, the eldest deep in his thoughts. He was going back to the village where he met him what if he saw him again?

They have nearly arrived at Romina's friend's house when Fabrizio thought he saw something in the street. Black curls. No this was stupid. It couldn’t be him, could it? And yet he looked in the street and he saw a tall man with black curls. Something in him knew. It was the man. It was his stranger. He turned to his sister. He had to follow the man, he had to know if it was him or not.

 

"Romi, it's really a girl you're going to see?"

 

"Yes! Why does nobody believe me?"

 

"Okay wonderful, I'll come and get you... Uh... I don't know when. At 5 pm?"

 

"17h30 and I won't tell mom and dad you weren't with me."

 

"Okay. Have fun."

 

"You too."

 

Without waiting he ran into the small street, but the man disappeared. Fuck. Where was he? Fabrizio looked around but he didn't know this village at all. He stopped a woman in the street and asked her if she saw a tall man with back curly hair and fair skin. Thank goodness she immediately recognized the person.

 

"Oh yes of course! He’s the owner of the bookstore. You turn left, right, left again, go straight until you see a small fountain and it will be there."

 

Fabrizio thanked her and hurried in the streets again. He managed to find his way quickly and in minutes he was in front of a small bookstore. A reader uh? He gulped and nervously fixed his outfit. At least he hoped he did. Oh, this was stupid, the man probably didn't remember him or was interested in men or in him. But he needed to see him again. Just once.

He stopped breathing as he pushed the door of the shop open. The man behind the counter looked up. It was him. He had a polite smile on his face that froze when he saw Fabrizio. He was truly handsome even if Fabrizio preferred him when he was laughing. Suddenly remembering his good manners, he took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, messing them up even more, and smiled shyly. The man seemed to come back to reality and cleared his throat.

 

"G-Good afternoon. I don't think I ever saw you here before, how can I help you?"

 

Oh, his voice. It was so pleasing to hear; Fabrizio could have listened to him for hours for sure. He fidgeted, unsure of what to say.

 

"Hi, I'm Fabrizio. I don't know if you remember but last Sunday we... Kind of danced together?"

 

The man's face lightened up with a big smile, the smile Fabrizio thought of for the past week. The man got up and walked to him, still smiling. He looked taller without a crowd around him and Fabrizio could observe him better. He was beautiful, even more than in Fabrizio’s memories.

 

"I do! I'm Ermal, nice to meet you again."

 

Fabrizio shook his hand. Ermal. It didn't sound Italian, he liked it. He couldn't help but note how soft Ermal's hand was against his. How could he not have noticed earlier? Ermal invited him to take a drink with him. Fabrizio accepted immediately, that's what he has been waiting for the past week.

 

"But what about your shop?"

 

Ermal shrugged. There weren't many people today. It sounded like a bad business decision, but Fabrizio didn't care. He was going to spend time with his mysterious stranger. On their way to a bar, Fabrizio suddenly panicked. What if Ermal and he didn't go along? He spent so much time imagining this meeting, it was scary. But he had this feeling in his stomach, a calming one, the same he had when dancing with him. They talked about their lives while walking. Ermal worked alone at the bookstore for 2 years now, before that he had a boss who died. He was a bit younger than Fabrizio and had a brother and a sister, both younger than him. They finished exchanging banalities when they arrived at the bar. Now, what to say?

They both ordered beers and stayed silent for a minute, unsure of what to say. It was Ermal who broke the silence.

 

"I looked for you after the crowd separated us, but I couldn't find you and you weren't from the village so..."

 

Fabrizio looked at him with wide eyes. He looked for him? He really did? He decided to ignore the funny feeling inside his stomach.

 

"I searched for you as well. All afternoon but I couldn't find you anywhere and I had to go home."

 

Ermal laughed and shook his head.

 

"We probably kept missing each other, with this crowd..."

 

Fabrizio nodded. God, it sounded silly. They were both searching each other, probably going in circles. What would have happened if Ermal found him? Fabrizio remembered their bodies pressed. Maybe they would have kissed in the heat of the event? His cheeks got warm at the thought. A look at Ermal's pink cheeks told him that he hadn't been the only one thinking about it. It made him blush even more. Maybe his attraction wasn’t one-sided after all. But they were in a bar, in public, they couldn't kiss now. Besides they have been talking for less than an hour. So, they kept talking and, to Fabrizio's surprise, the conversation was so easy with Ermal. Ermal knew a lot of things and it was a delight to listen to him. Time flew as they spoke about family, politics, music... Really everything they could think of. Their empty beers have been forgotten a long time ago. Under the table, their thighs were brushing and so were their fingers, always hidden. Fabrizio could have stayed in this small bar talking with Ermal for many hours more if a group of men didn't enter the bar and the bartender teased them about being here at 17h30 sharp. Shit, Romina! He quickly paid for the beers and hurried out of the bar, a confused Ermal behind him. He paused when he remembered that he had no idea where Romina's friend's house was. He explained the situation to Ermal who luckily knew the house and walked him there. They were maybe a little bit closer than what would have been considered as normal and maybe their hands brushed often as they were walking down the empty streets. But Fabrizio didn't mind at all, he liked it even.

Far too soon, even if Ermal made them take the longer road, they arrived in front of the house and it was time to say goodbye. Fabrizio really didn't want to leave, but at least he now had a name to put on this handsome face and he knew where to find him. Suddenly he got an idea. He searched in his pockets and found a piece of paper. Thank God Ermal had a pen. Using Ermal's back as a support, Fabrizio wrote his address on the paper and gave it to Ermal.

 

"If you want to write to me or pay me a visit."

 

"I will! Thank you, Fabrizio."

 

They hugged tightly as a way to say goodbye. Maybe it lasted too long and was too tight to be just friendly but who cared? Not them for sure. Reluctantly Ermal left, promising to write to him soon, and Fabrizio knocked at the door. That evening he lied to his parents, telling them that he stayed with Sara (Romina's friend)'s parents the whole time. Very lovely people, a pleasure to talk to. Their parents seemed content with this answer and didn't comment on the fact that Fabrizio seemed far happier. He found his stranger and he fell even harder for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please tell me what you thought of it!


	3. A special place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fabrizio and Ermal get closer, much closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I hope you will like this new chapter that isn't very long sadly.

Three days later Fabrizio was all excited when he received a letter. It was Ermal, he knew it. No one wrote to him usually. He hid in his room to open it. It has been only three days and yet he already missed Ermal awfully. In his letter, Ermal told him how happy he had been to see him again, how much fun he had with him and ended by giving his address so Fabrizio could answer. Which he immediately did, careful to write well for once in his life. After that, his weeks were filled with the expectation of an incoming letter. His family was growing curious, but it was his secret. Oh, there was nothing scandalous written. Only two friends writing to each other. But to Fabrizio, it was so much more than that. They saw each other again; Fabrizio and Romina went back to Ermal's village to visit their friends. It had been wonderful. They just wandered in the streets talking but it seemed to be more than just that. This afternoon as Fabrizio was reading the last letter Ermal sent him it really hit him. He was in love. In love with Ermal. It should have scared him, make him feel guilty, ashamed but not at all. It felt natural like everything was with Ermal.

It took him a few days to finally get brave enough to invite Ermal to go stargazing with him Saturday night, in a field midway between their villages. His hand was shaking as he wrote the words. He hesitated a lot when he posted the letter as well. What if he misunderstood everything between them? What if he ruined everything? In the end he posted the letter and then hurried to the garage, he had to work to busy his mind somewhere else. The answer arrived 4 days later, an eternity for Fabrizio. He ran to his room as soon as he got the letter to read it. He took a deep breath before opening it.

 

_Dear Bizio,_

_The shop is going quite well, I don't have a lot of clients but as usual. Okay done with the boring stuff. Of course, I would love to go see the stars with you Saturday night. I'm sorry this letter is so short, I want to tell you so much more, but I'm too excited to write properly._

_I can't wait to see you again._

_Love,_

_Ermal_

Fabrizio giggled and read the letter again and again. Ermal was excited and couldn't wait to see him. He carefully placed the letter with all the others in the box under his bed and went to work with a smile. Only two days until he saw Ermal again.

On Saturday he was so excited he couldn't stay put. Tonight, he would see Ermal. They would be alone. The mere thought made his stomach twist. That night he waited for the whole house to be asleep to carefully leave the house, a blanket rolled under his arm, and took his bike to ride to the field. He was nervous. He and Ermal were really going to be alone.

A few minutes after he arrived Ermal appeared, smiling brightly. They hugged as they usually did maybe a bit longer tonight. Fabrizio guided Ermal to the middle of the field where they would be great to watch the sky. They laid down on the blanket he bought. Their hands were only centimetres away. Both nervous, they talked like they usually did until Ermal bravely put his hand over Fabrizio's. Fabrizio smiled brightly and intertwined their fingers, he moved closer to Ermal whose head was now on his shoulder. It felt nice. Better than when he did it with girls. He knew a few constellations, so he pointed them out to Ermal, happy to be able to show off. He talked softly, nearly a mutter, as to not disturb the silence around them.

Suddenly a cold burst of wind made the weather chiller for a moment. Ermal moved closer to Fabrizio, now, completely pressed against him. Fabrizio took a deep breath before chuckling. Ermal looked up, silently asking him what was wrong.

 

"Do you remember the party? At your village?"

 

Ermal laughed as well and put his head back on Fabrizio's shoulder.

 

"How could I? I never liked and hated crowd that much."

 

Fabrizio nodded in silence, looking at Ermal. At his beautiful face. Ermal turned to him with a small smile. Suddenly Fabrizio forgot about the sky. He only cared about Ermal. Ermal's beautiful eyes that were now staring at his lips. Ermal's lips that looked so soft. He tentatively put a hand on Ermal's cheek and they both gulped at the same time.

Deep down he knew that this was not a good idea. Two men in love in Italy was not a good idea. It was wrong. But then why did it feel so right? If two men kissing was wrong then why did he want to kiss Ermal so bad? Why was he moving his face closer to Ermal's who was moving closer as well? And, if that was wrong, why was the sensation of Ermal's lips against his so soft, so intoxicating? Why did he want more?

His arm went around Ermal's shoulders, pushing him closer. It felt amazing. How could a simple kiss feel this way? They kept exchanging small kisses, just two pairs of lips pressed. They pulled away slightly, their foreheads resting against each other, they couldn't stop smiling.

 

"Wow."

 

That was all Fabrizio could say. Wow. Ermal laughed, his breath crashing on Fabrizio's lips.

 

"Wow indeed."

 

Ermal kissed his cheek before putting his head on Fabrizio's shoulder again and turning to the sky.

 

"It's amazing isn't it?"

 

Fabrizio smiled at him, not looking at the stars.

 

"It is. It really is."

After this night it became their ritual. Once a week they would see each other in their villages and another time in the field, watching the stars. Fabrizio loved those moments, he cherished them as much as he cherished the letters. In fact, his letters box became his Ermal box. There were all the letters, the book Ermal offered him and inside it, a flower Ermal stubbornly tried to put in Fabrizio's hair.

They now had their spot in the field. It was a bit hidden by a tree, and it was impossible to see them from the road. They were alone. In fact, that was something Fabrizio told Ermal once.

 

"I love this place; it makes me feel like we are both alone in the universe."

 

He remembered clearly Ermal's reaction. Ermal looked at him with his, soft smile and eyes and kissed him tenderly.

 

"I love you Fabrizio."

 

Yes, this spot was filled with first times. Their first kiss, their first I love you, their first time... Countless of memories were there, and only their.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, please tell me what you thought of it.


	4. In Heaven no more problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how happy they are Fabrizio has to get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I finally wrote it! I'm really happy to finish it, I really loved this fic

Ermal and Fabrizio kept seeing each other for nearly 3 years at the same place. Every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday they would meet and then the world would disappear, and they would be alone. Until one night, while they were watching the stars. Ermal could sense something was wrong. Fabrizio wasn't like usual, he seemed nervous and sad. He caressed his cheek with a comforting smile but inside him, he was growing nervous as well. Something told him that he wouldn't like this conversation. And he was right because after a moment Fabrizio decided to tell what was going on.

 

"I'm invited to a wedding. I'm one of the groomsmen. That means that I will be paired with a bridesmaid. I know why because I'm still "single" and I'm getting old."

 

"Oh."

 

Ermal went pale. He knew he wasn't going to like this. He knew what that meant. Fabrizio was going to marry this bridesmaid, to have children with her. Of course. Ermal knew it would have happened one day anyway, but it still hurt. He never felt the pressure of getting married, his father was out of the picture and his mother only cared for him to be happy. Fabrizio's embrace tightened around him and Ermal hid his face in Fabrizio's chest. He wanted to make the most of it, maybe it was the last time he would have it.

 

A week later when they found each other in their field Ermal knew. As soon as he saw Fabrizio he knew. He knew that Fabrizio was going to marry her. He didn't know this woman, but he already hated her for stealing his Bizio. Fabrizio hugged him tightly and Ermal hugged him back. He didn't say anything, letting Fabrizio talk.

 

"She... She is nice. And pretty. And would make a great wife. A perfect match according to my parents. They say I should hurry up and marry her before it's too late."

 

Ermal nodded slowly, holding back his tears.

 

"Do you want to marry her?"

 

"No."

 

He sighed in relief. Fabrizio didn't want to marry this perfect match. Fabrizio kissed him softly before continuing.

 

"I want to marry you, not her."

 

"But it's not possible."

 

Ermal finished for him and Fabrizio nodded. They stayed all night in this field, kissing, hugging and telling how much they loved the other. It eased Ermal's pain a little, to know that Fabrizio wasn't marrying this "Giada" because he wanted to but because he had to. It broke their heart, but they agreed to not see each other again, at least not like this. It wouldn't be correct toward Giada to cheat on her.

 

Two months later Fabrizio was marrying Giada. Ermal wasn't there, he couldn't bear the sight of the man he loved marrying someone else. The weather was good, Giada looked beautiful, everyone was happy, and the groom looked like he was dead inside. His mother lied and said that he was nervous and like his father, he didn't know how to show it. But his family and now wife knew that it wasn't nervousness but sadness. The entire ceremony Fabrizio thought of how Ermal would have looked like, it was the only moment he smiled genuinely.

 

They did nothing on their wedding night but talk. The entire night. Fabrizio admitted that he was already in love with a man and Giada told him that she was in love with another man too, but he married someone else. It was a relief for them. They knew that their wedding wouldn't be a loving one, at least not in the romantic sense, but as Giada said maybe they could try and be happy together.

 

And they were. For years they have been happy. They never loved each other more than friends but it was enough for them. Fabrizio continued to write to Ermal and Ermal answered. He kept every single letter, like a dear treasure. He sent him a letter when Libero was born, and another one for Anita's birth. He couldn't help but wish he could raise them with Ermal instead of Giada. He knew that Giada thought the same with Alberto. The number of letters they sent each other reduced as the years went by. And yet Fabrizio never forgot Ermal. He was the only one he ever truly loved. He went to Ermal's bookstore once with Giada and the children, to present them to Ermal. It has been a mistake. It hurt more than anything and Ermal begged him to not come back.

 

Time passed, Anita and Libero grew up, Giada and Fabrizio got older. Libero took Mobrici's garage back and Anita left for another village after she married a lovely man who will make her happy. Libero married a woman as well and their parents were relieved to see that their children would have the loving marriage they never had. And then, after 40 years of marriage, Giada died. Fabrizio was very sad, of course, he loved her. It took him a while to get over it. He thought of writing to Ermal, but he didn't know if he was still alive or if he still lived at the same place. Besides, maybe Ermal forgot about him, it's been such a long time.

 

One day he went to the garage to help Libero with a car. He froze when he saw a flyer on the wall. It was for a village party near their village. Ermal's village. But those kinds of parties didn't exist anymore, at least not in this village. He asked Libero about it who answered that it was some kind of anniversary and they decided to organize one again. Suddenly Fabrizio remembered everything with a vivid memory. He and Ermal, dragged by the crowd, dancing and laughing together. He rushed home without a word. In his bedroom he grabbed the box under his bed, he never threw it away. His Ermal box. Everything was still there. All the letters, the book, the flower all dried, the presents. He read every letter, looked at everything in tears. It had been a long time since he looked through this box. Memories of Ermal kept coming. He could still hear his laugh and his soft voice. The memories were blurry but Ermal's smile was bright and clear in his mind.

 

A week later he was sitting on a bench in this village he hasn't been in for years, in his Sunday clothes. He looked at the crowd dancing and laughing with a sad smile. It changed a lot since he last came here. He was lost deep in thoughts when he heard a voice next to him.

 

"What a crowd uh?"

 

Fabrizio's eyes widened. This voice. He knew it. He knew it by heart. Oh, it changed, of course, they were in their seventies now. But Fabrizio would have recognized it no matter what. The effect was still the same, his stomach twisted like it did 40 years ago and he felt the same feeling of calm in him. He turned his head with a smile and saw him. Ermal. He changed and yet it was still his Ermal. His curls were greyer now and he had more wrinkles than before, but his eyes were the same, his smile was the same. It was his Ermal, the Ermal he fell in love with so long ago.

 

"Oh, it's nothing, I remember a time when if you were caught in the middle of the crowd you could find yourself forced to dance with a handsome stranger."

 

Ermal laughed and Fabrizio felt like a young man over again, in love like at the first day. He watched Ermal sitting next to him and looking around. It was weird, to see him after all this time. He never realized that he missed him that much. He knew that he missed Ermal, but he felt whole again next to him.

 

"You're here alone?"

 

Fabrizio nodded.

 

"Yes, Anita and Libero are grownups who don't have the time to come and Giada... She passed away 6 months ago."

 

"Oh. I'm so sorry Fabrizio."

 

Oh, to hear his name again, Fabrizio even forgot that they were talking about his late wife.

 

"It's okay. It was hard at first, she was a dear friend and we lived together for 40 years after all..."

 

Ermal cut him.

 

"43. You two have been married for 43 years."

 

Fabrizio smiled. He remembered.

 

"Yes, 43 years. But she was never anything more than a friend to me."

 

Ermal seemed very happy to hear that, his smile getting wider. Fabrizio moved slightly closer. It reminded him of the very beginning when they would shyly move closer to each other.

 

"Only a friend?"

 

Fabrizio laughed. Ermal sounded so happy. He missed it.

 

"Well, I was already in love with someone else so I couldn't see her as anything more."

 

Ermal gasped dramatically but the comic effect was broken by the redness on his cheeks.

 

"Excuse me? A man married a woman he wasn't in love with? I've never heard of such a thing!"

 

Fabrizio laughed harder before sighing and trying to take a serious voice.

 

"And even more shocking... I was in love with a man"

 

Another loud gasp came out of Ermal who was now completely red. Some things never changed.

The crowd was loud around them, that's why Ermal suggested that they went back to his place to talk. Fabrizio agreed in a heartbeat. Finally, he would spend time with Ermal. Weirdly it felt natural to be around him. It was like if nothing happened and they stayed together for all those years. The conservation was flowing between freely, they told each other what happened in their lives and often paused to remember something that happened once. That's how Fabrizio learned that Ermal stayed single, never married, no children, never with anyone again. Ermal played with his teacup nervously when he told Fabrizio that he couldn't be with anyone else than him. Fabrizio took his hand with a tender smile.

 

"I kept thinking about you."

 

"All those years?"

 

Ermal turned his hand and intertwined their fingers, brushing Fabrizio's back of the hand.

 

"Of course. I never stopped loving you, even when we stopped writing."

 

"I love you too, I never stopped loving you."

 

They were both close to tears. To hear it, after all those years. They loved each other and were loved back. Ermal kissed Fabrizio and Fabrizio's stomach twisted again. It didn't change. It was soft and tender, full of the feelings they kept inside for years.

 

They spend the rest of the day together talking in the arms of each other, sometimes stopping to kiss. They could hear the faint sound of the crowd outside but when they looked in each other’s eyes it disappeared, just like when they were young and in their special spot. It was perfect.

 

Fabrizio had to go home eventually, but not without the promise to come back the next day. And he did. For a week they spend every day at each other's house, talking or simply staying together in silence. Ermal also met, again, Anita and Libero who liked him even if they were surprised to discover a new friend to their dad.

 

They quickly decided to live together. They were old and waited far too long to finally be able to do so. Ermal was a well-known bachelor and Fabrizio a widower, no one would assume anything. Anita and Libero never understood why their father made the decision to live with Ermal, a man they barely knew. But they never saw him so happy, so they let it slide.

Fabrizio has never been so happy in his life. Finally, his dream of spending his days with the man he loved was made real. Every day he would wake up to take his breakfast with Ermal, pour some coffee in their cups. Their cups were always next to each other in the closet, their colours even matching. And then if the weather was good he took care of their garden and if not he stayed inside the small bookstore reading books and getting gently lectured by Ermal because it wasn't a library. He would cook lunch and dinner for Ermal when he came home. And then at night, they would go to sleep together. Some days Fabrizio’s children and grandchildren would come and spend the afternoon with them. Other days it was Ermal’s siblings who came, they were aware of their relationship, they were the only ones. Life was perfect.

 

Anita and Libero only discovered the truth much later, years after. After 5 years of living together, Ermal passed away. Less than 3 months later Fabrizio was following him, a smile on his face he felt himself leave. In the silence of their house, he muttered a soft:

 

“I’m coming, my love.”

 

His children went to their father’s lawyer to know Fabrizio’s will. To their surprise, he stated very clearly that he didn’t want to get buried in the Mobrici grave. He wanted to be buried by Ermal’s side. Not understanding they asked the lawyer for more explanations. Fabrizio loved his family more than anything, then why?  

 

“I don’t know the reasons either, but your father told me to give you this. He said that it would hopefully explain everything. And if not, the boxes under the bed should help.”

 

The lawyer gave them a letter with their names on it and advised that they read it later, as they still had some papers to fill. Anita’s home being closer they went to her place right after the lawyer to open the letter. They had so many questions, but the main one was why their father chose to be buried with Ermal rather than in the family’s grave? Nervous, they began to read the letter.

 

_Dear Anita and Libero,_

_If you read this letter then it means that I’m dead and you went to the lawyer. It also means that you are aware of my wish to be buried next to Ermal, I pray he died before me and won’t have to mourn me. You must have so many questions and I understand you. I probably should have told you this years ago, maybe it would have been wiser, but I’ve kept this a secret for so long, I didn’t know how to tell you. Ermal and I were more than friends, we were in a loving relationship._

_We used to be lovers so many years ago, but the world didn’t allow us to stay together, and I had to marry your mother. Don’t misunderstand me, I loved Giada, she was one of my dearest friends and I lived a happy life with her. Not once have I regretted to be your father. You are not, and never were, a waste of time to me. But I’ve only loved one person in my life, Ermal. I loved it more than words can say. So, when we found each other again and we discovered that we still had feelings for each other we didn’t want to waste any more time being apart._

_I don’t know how much time passed until you will receive this letter, many years I hope. But whether it was 3 months or 15 years I can already say that those were the happiest days of my life. So, please, forgive me for not telling you the truth, forgive me for hiding this from you, but I was scared that if you knew what Ermal meant to me you would have taken him away from me and I know for a fact that I couldn’t have bare to lose him again._

_I love you,_

_Your father, Fabrizio Mobrici._

The siblings stayed silent for a long moment, staring at the wall, then at the letter, then back to the wall. Tears were escaping Anita’s eyes and Libero could barely hold back his. Their father had been in a homosexual relationship for 5 years and they didn’t know. He already had been with this man before. It was a lot of information to get. Anita was the first one to talk with a watery voice.

 

“What are we going to do?”

 

Her brother stayed silent. He was the older one, he was the man, he was supposed to make the decisions. But his mind was blank. All he could think of was how oblivious he had been. Of course, his father looked so happy when he lived with Ermal, happier than he ever looked next to their mother.

 

“We’re going to bury him with Ermal of course.”

 

“That’s what they deserve.”

 

 

A week later they went alone to take their father’s personal possessions from the house, Ermal’s would go to his siblings. They wanted to do it alone. Now that they knew the truth it appeared to be obvious. The two cups next to each other, the only bed, the clothes mixed, every detail seemed to scream that Ermal and their father were together. And most of all, like their father, said, the two boxes under the bed. Each filled with letters and small objects that those two gave each other nearly 50 years ago. It seemed surreal.

 

And then on their father’s bedside was a picture of Fabrizio and Ermal together. They were sat close on the couch, their hands linked, their bodies hugging, smiling and looking at each other as if they forgot the camera as if they forgot the world. On the back of the picture was written in their father’s shaky handwriting:

 

_In Heaven, no more problems, God reunites those who love each other._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made myself cry. More than once. I hope you liked it, if so please leave me a comment or a kudo

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope that you liked it. Please tell me what you thought in the comments, it would truly mean the world to me!


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